It’s been quite a week in the Swank household; both Tory and I have been fighting the flu-it’s no fun being pregnant and sick, let alone with the flu! Poor Tory had it so bad, our house has never been so quiet; we really learned that he’s the talkative one in our relationship!
I Vow…
This week really made me think about the vows that we made to each other 4 months ago when we got married: “in sickness and in health, for better or worse, for richer or poorer.”
Not only have we been dealing with germs and all the other lovely symptoms that come along when you’re sick, but we’ve also had a rough week figuring out where we both would be career-wise when our precious baby arrives.
People always say that the first year of marriage is the toughest, but I had no idea that it would hit us all in the same week.
I have never once doubted the strength of our relationship or our ability to work together through every up and down that may come our way. This past week has truly made me appreciate everything Tory and I have gone through since the day we met!
It’s crazy how 3 words can change so much. No, it’s not those 3 infamous words with 8 letters, but the lives of 2 people changed completely with 3 words and 10 letters, “Hey, what’s up.”
We didn’t meet in a movie-like, cutesy, automatic love at first sight kind of way. We met on the first night I started my new job in Dallas when Tory opened the doors to the store for me. At the time Tory was working overnight at Sam’s Club and I worked for a direct marketing firm for Sam’s members.
Although we didn’t speak the first night, Tory strategically made his move the next 4 months, or so he says, with a simple “Hey, what’s up,” each time he saw me at work. No conversations were had, no dates were made. My attention was caught when Tory walked right into a pole while pulling pallets to the back after one of his many “Hey, what’s up,” exchanges (it’s a lot cuter than it sounds).
The Night That Started It All
After our many brief encounters, our “relationship,” went nothing further than just those 3 words. Unfortunately, Tory was on vacation when I quit my job, so all was lost right? Not quite, I took a chance and went back to Tory’s club to go grocery shopping {there are much closer stores} to see if he would say something more than “Hey, what’s up,” and hoping that he was working that day.
As I walked around the store, I wasn’t really sure what to say or do if I did bump into him. I was just about to walk to the registers to check out when Tory walked up and what does he say? “HEY, WHAT’S UP,” and just walked away.
Now, in Tory’s defense, he says he was nervous and he was just working up the courage to say more than just those words.
I was about to give up, but Tory came back around and asked me to spend New Years with him and his friends at a party.
When the night of our first date came around, I had just pulled up to Tory’s place when I wondered if I should really go on this date. It would be better than ringing in the New Year alone, right? As if things couldn’t get more interesting, Tory texted me to let me know he had lost a bet a couple days before and would have to spend the first part of the party wearing a dress!
Our first date was the first time we ever really said more than just those 3 words to each other, it was the night Tory wore a dress for the first time, the night I learned that tequila was not my friend and the night we shared our first and last first kiss.
New Years Eve 2014 was the beginning of our forever.
Our Forever
Rings, engagement, marriage… These subjects had always been something we talked about throughout our relationship.
What type of ring I wanted. What type of ring Tory saw himself buying for me. How long we would be engaged for. What our wedding would look like and when it would happen.
It was no secret that Tory was planning on proposing this year. He was very much open about his plans and I was very verbal about asking my parents for permission and the Vietnamese traditions for the engagement and wedding.
In October 2015, Tory had actually sat down with my parents and asked for their permission.
The weekend of Mother’s Day {May 5-8, 2016} had come and the we had planned a trip back to my hometown of Holland, Mich. for my 3 cousins’ graduations, Mother’s Day and for Tory to meet the rest of my family.
On the way back home, I was very curious about why Tory wouldn’t check in his bag so that he wouldn’t have to walk around the airport with a heavy bag, but he told me some story about how he had lost a bag once and didn’t want that to happen again {Okay, babe… Later turns out that he had the ring in the bag}.
Throughout the weekend, Tory had asked me to take him to all her favorite spots in my hometown. I showed him my old house, high school and we walked down to Kollen Park, where I used to spend the Fourth of July watching the fireworks with my cousins and friends. Overall though, my favorite spot was my grandparents’ living room, where the entire extended family spent every Christmas together since I was a little girl.
On the morning of May 7, we sat down with my mom, aunt and grandparents to eat breakfast before the graduations and Tory asked my grandparents for their permission to marry me IN VIETNAMESE {Tory had to use his cellphone to read the pronunciations}!! After many questions, my grandparents said “yes.”
Throughout the day while driving to, attending and driving home from my cousin Juliet’s graduation from Michigan State, Tory kept asking me to marry him and my answer each time was, “This is not how you’re asking me.”
When we had come home and we’re hanging out in the patio with the family watching TV, Tory took me by the hand and brought me into the living room.
“All weekend I’ve been asking you where your favorite spots are in your hometown and you said that your grandparents’ living room was your favorite. I love you so much, I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you and showing you and I wanted to add another memory here. All day today I’ve been asking you to marry me and you’ve said no, {Tory reached behind a lamp in the living room for the ring and got down on one knee} so I’m going to ask you one more time, Megan Quynh-Nhi Viola-Vu will you marry me?”
“YES! OMG!”
Of course, based on Vietnamese tradition Tory couldn’t put the ring on my finger until we had our engagement ceremony, when the two families came together as one. So for 50 days, the ring stayed in the box until our parents had announced our engagement on June 25, 2016.
Happily Ever Swank…with a Twist
Originally, Tory and I had talked to both of our families about getting married in a year (from June 25). We had told a lot of people and were making plans for a wedding on June 24, 2017…but like we’ve learned several times in the past, God had a different plan for us.
In July 2016, we found out that we were pregnant and would be expecting our first baby in March 2017. Obviously, our plans for a June wedding would need to be altered…drastically. The wedding date was moved up to November 5, 2016 and plans were in full gear for my custom made gown by my little sister to be done just 5 months after we had announced our engagement.
Not everyone knew about the news of our pregnancy and why the sudden change in wedding date. Not only was I experiencing a lot of morning sickness during this time, but I was also worried about things that many brides never had to worry about while planning their wedding (What if my dress doesn’t fit the day of? What if people can see my bump?) and thins that a mommy-to-be never really had to worry about while planning for the arrival of her first baby (Where do we register for the wedding? Where should this guest sit?)
Our wedding day, as chaotic as it felt at some moments-having to do the traditional Vietnamese ceremony in the morning, the church ceremony and then a reception hosting 500 guests, was as magical and full of love from our families that we could’ve imagined.
Tory is seriously my knight in shining armor. Not only has he had to deal with my changing hormones, but he has also had to deal with the stress of being a bride and all that came with planning a wedding.
I couldn’t have gotten through those months without him and I can’t imagine going through any obstacle life throws our way without him. He’s my best friend and has shown me that he’s an amazing husband and will be an incredible father.