A Child’s Love in an Uncertain Time

The last 4 weeks have been a whirlwind of emotions for our family. We have been hit with career changes, loss, job closures and pandemonium. We are in an uncertain time as a country and it’s scary as a mother and wife to think about raising our family with as little disruption as possible in our daily lives.

Career Changes

At the beginning of this month Tory received the news that he would be transferred to a IMG_4689different Sam’s Club that’s located 45 minutes away from our home. That meant an added hour and a half to his day commuting to and from work on top of his already 10+ hour work day. Disappointment didn’t even begin to explain how I felt when we received the news.

Since then, we’ve accepted the changes to our schedule and have made the adjustments we needed to make sure that our babies’ schedules are changed as little as possible.

Loss

On February 29, 2020 I received one of the worst phone calls I have ever gotten. My sister called me at 7:15 AM to let me know that my uncle was at the ER after he had suffered a heart attack earlier that morning.

While we were on the phone, the doctor came out to let my family know that they had done all they could but he was gone. My uncle, who had lived with us for years, who had taught me how to drive, who was one of the pillars of our family, was gone…forever.

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I have experienced loss before, but this loss hit me harder than the others and hit me in a way that I felt like I was losing my two other uncles all over again as well. We spent the next week in Houston with the entire family. The amount of stress and frustration that we experienced this week was enough to last me a while…or so I thought.

IMG_4733I’m still grieving today and it’s hard to talk about at all because so many of my family members seem like they’re perfectly fine now after we said our final goodbye so I’ve kept how I’ve felt to myself. There’s been at least once after the funeral that I found myself breaking down in my car because of a worship song I’ve listened to many times came on.

Job Closures and Pandemonium 

Last week Thursday when Governor Whitmer (Michigan) called for all K-12 schools to be closed in light of the growing concerns for coronavirus, I thought that my life was just in for a little bit of a curve ball, however, what transpired in the following 24 hours would put my “plan ahead, have everything organized,” mind into a tailspin. In the following 24 hours I would find out that not just 1, but all 3 of my part-time jobs would be closed due to the pandemic.

If that wasn’t the only thing to make my mind go crazy, the way people were acting in IMG_5195stores was even scarier. I went on Friday morning after our final tennis practice at 7:30 AM to the northside Meijer in Holland and it was PACKED! PACKED! Where are these people on a regular day?! Not at Meijer that’s for sure! It happened to be 10 for 10 weekend, so not only were things going fast, but they were flying off the shelves and the lines at checkout were going back through the frozen section. People, this was 7:30 AM! Meijer is usually empty at that time!

The stories Tory has come home with haven’t been any less crazier either since he’s still working during all this craziness and things are still flying off the shelves as if people haven’t gotten enough already.

What I’ve Learned 

IMG_5197My family’s life has been turned upside down, right-side up and upside down again so many times in the last month. But one thing hasn’t changed, the unconditional love and innocence that pours out from our children.

In a time when I was most broken, Bryan, not understanding why Mommy was crying, knew that all I needed was a hug. As we laid our uncle down in his final resting place, I remember Bryan looking me in the eyes, hugging me as tight as he could and rubbing my back. He may not have understood what was going on, but I needed that more than anything in that moment.

During this last week while we’ve been home with no where to go and we’ve gone a little stir crazy, when I walk away from the living room just for a little breath from the mess, Kennedy will run over, hug my legs with a little giggle and just run away.

While the rest of the world seems to be going a little crazy right now, remember to take a moment and embrace the memories with the little one(s) running around your living room. While the rest of the world seems uncertain, these precious little ones are looking at us for normalcy.

All of this change and upheaval happened at the same as Bryan turning 3 years old! I IMG_4896can’t believe he’s already 3! He has grown up so much in the last year and has shown so much maturity and love for his age! We are so proud of the little man he’s growing up to be!

 

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Lifewithswank

Embracing life as unpredictable, imperfect & incredible as it is for a faithful wife & mommy. Chasing my dreams while helping my babies chase theirs!

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