Have you just had one of those days where you’re sitting on the couch, listening to some music, a song comes on and it just breaks you? Whatever will power you had to keep things together for however long you have been doesn’t matter anymore? A rush of emotions just overcomes you and it all just comes out?
How often has it been when you’re alone? How often does it happen?
I was sitting on my couch on this gorgeous Sunday afternoon while my babies were napping, listening to Sunday service with Hillsong East Coast. I decided to turn on some worship music instead on my phone with Hillsong United. The song “You” came on and I just broke.
Every bit of me that had been holding in any emotions I’ve been feeling…overwhelmed… frustrated… hurt… confused… angry… annoyed… happy… grateful… it all came out in that moment as soon as the song started.
The stress and the feeling that I have to be a perfect and successful mom, wife, student and entrepreneur was clearly built up inside of me and only had one way of getting out today… it was a cry I needed. It was a moment I needed to realize that I wasn’t giving myself any grace for my mistakes, for my actions or my feelings.
In those 4 minutes, I have never felt so vulnerable. I can’t even tell you how long I’ve been holding it together that nothing is wrong and that everything is perfect.
The Perfect Mom…She Doesn’t Exist!
PERFECT… HA! That word is such a joke! Why do we as mothers always have to have things be perfect? Why do we put pressure on each other to be the perfect moms? Why do we let society put it in our heads that if we aren’t perfect, we aren’t good moms?
Show me a mom that has it together 100% of the time and I will have so many questions for her! Show me a mom who says she has everything in her household the way she wants it and it works out 100% of the time and I’ll ask her how she does it without feeling like a robot!
Last night, and the last few nights, Bryan and I haven’t seen eye-to-eye during bed time and all he wanted was Daddy. He would cry for Tory and it would hurt me so much because I felt like I couldn’t do anything to help him. After Bryan fought me for 2 hours to sleep last night, I picked him up and cradled him like a baby and within 5 minutes, he was fast asleep.
“Don’t let his tantrums make you feel any less of a parent. You’re doing what you can to make him a good kid in this world and he will see it when he’s older.”
The Perfect Wife… Are You Married to a Robot?
Have you ever watched that Nicole Kidman movie, The Stepford Wives? Those are the only perfect wives in this world! Everyone’s idea of perfect is different from the next. So why is that society and culture make it that we as wives, must be perfect in every way? We have to keep the house clean, keep up with the laundry and cook a home-cooked meal every night.
I am exhausted trying to keep the house clean and to make a meal plan every week of meals and not having to go to the same meals every week…
Today, right before nap time, I put Kennedy’s bottle of milk into the microwave, but forgot I had taken the tray out to clean it so milk went all over the place… right after I had just cleaned the entire kitchen…
Tory tells me at least several times a week how amazing I am and how grateful he is to be married to someone who has helped him build a strong future for our children. Why then am I still trying to make things perfect in our home?
Why do I let the words and thoughts of society and my culture get to me so much that I’m overwhelming myself with the “duties of a wife and mother?”
My children and husband give me so much grace for the bad days that I have where I may get a little annoyed easier than usual or I raise my voice more than I would like. Why can’t I give myself grace? Why do I let what society thinks get to me so much?
Have Grace for Yourself Mama
Mamas, we need to give ourselves and each other more grace for who we are and for our efforts to raise and care for our families. I’m so lucky to have found a group of strong, dedicated mamas through social media (@Mom’s Timeout…you ladies know who you are) that have helped me understand that we all deserve to give ourselves grace!
This week and moving forward, I’m focusing on giving myself more grace, letting myself ask for help when I need it and not feeling ashamed that I couldn’t do it on my own and when needed, a really good cry!
This life is already so hard…why be harder on ourselves? How will you give yourself grace this week? Share it in the comments below!