Grace, Understanding & Acceptance

“However, I consider my life worth NOTHING to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me–the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.” -Acts 20:24

All my life I have been born and raised as a Catholic and many people might consider me a “Cradle Catholic” and for the longest time I considered myself one as well. I went to Mass every weekend to celebrate the Liturgy of the Word and the Liturgy of the Eucharist. I attended Faith Formation through high school and even became a youth group leader. Most of my life, I felt like I was going through the motions because I had to, not because I wanted to…

It wasn’t until this quarantine when I attended Sunday Services with Hillsong East Coast, that I really started to bring faith back into my daily life and not just on Saturdays when I attended Mass with my family. I brought faith and prayer back into everything I did and it wasn’t because I had to but because I wanted to.

It’s amazing that it’s on Sundays, after service, that I’m moved to write, that I find myself back at something I have always been passionate about but have seemed to have strayed away from the last few months.

I have spent the last few months trying to make something else work that somewhere down the path, I stopped having fun, I stopped wanting to make it work, but I kept pretending that it was what I wanted. Why? Because I’m afraid of letting others down. Because I’m afraid of what others will think. Because I’m afraid of failing at another job…

I came into this scary time in our lives, full steam ahead, with the mindset that I would finally build my business as a blogger/influencer because I finally had the time (what between all my part-time jobs, school and kids, why not add more to the plate).

I would finally take time to focus on my writing and building my social media influence… I strayed away from it. Not so quickly at first, but over the last few months, it’s become something I’ve pushed to the back of my mind because I was focused on something else that I thought would work, because I wanted to make it work for others.

I know that building my own business is tough. I know that building a full-time income on writing will be hard and won’t come without obstacles, but this is something I’ve always wanted to do, so why was I so quick to let it go?

Because I was afraid? Or that I was worried about what my family and friends would think when I told them what I did?

I tried something and pushed for it to work so badly the last couple of months but I’m quickly realizing that it’s not for me. Quite honestly, I’m afraid to let more people down. I’m afraid to say that I’m not actively building my team anymore because I don’t want to know what others will think.

“Oh, Megan’s failed another thing she’s tried.”

These words constantly haunt me because I’ve transitioned into so many different careers since college graduation 8 years ago. I tried being a journalist, that didn’t last long past graduation. I became a teacher for 4 years and stopped doing that too.

I’ve found my purpose in this life and it’s to be a stay-at-home mom and to be there for my family through everything and it’s something that I’m completely happy with. Now, I just need to find something that I can do from home while I’m still living this dream of being a stay-at-home mom.

I have seen God’s grace, understanding and acceptance work so many different times in my life. I need to be able to give myself the same grace, understanding and acceptance of my dreams. I need to let my family and friends show me the same. They may not understand it at first, but I know that if they truly loved and cared for me, they would come around in time.

This month I’m focusing on building my business as a blogger, influencer and making out the plans to start my own crafting business. I’m focusing on what makes me happy.

What are you going to do this month?